All Adventurous Women Do.

Oh blog. How I love to leave you for an extended period of time. That way, when I come back around, I see how different things were back in the day. It either makes me really happy or really depressed. Today would be the latter.


It’s been a year since I graduated college. I had all of these hopes and dreams of where I would be after I walked across that stage. Did I think I’d still be working two jobs, one at a bar and one for a company doing not even remotely what I hoped I’d be doing? No. I thought I got the degree which means I’m supposed to get the dream job. If only it worked out that way.

I am currently obsessed with Lena Dunham. Besides the fact that she is amazing and hilarious and everything I wish I could be, she created this show called “Girls” on HBO. It follows Hannah and her friends as they go through their mid-20’s trying to figure out life after college. The character of Hannah really resonates with me. Not that I had parents who ever paid for anything to cut me off and leave me in a sea of despair… but I do have the desire to be some amazing career woman doing what I love and having no way of getting there. I want to live somewhere amazingly trendy like San Francisco or Austin, where people aren’t horrified that I have a few tattoos. I want to work somewhere that feels young, hip, in tune with technology. I want to work somewhere that social media matters, is embraced, and has a conversational feel as opposed to “let’s use Twitter to make people buy our stuff.” The hardest part is that it’s a growing medium for businesses to use and it’s hard to find anyone in the good ole’ Midwest who is as passionate about it as I am.

I turned 25 at the end of last year. Everyone around me is figuring out their lives. Getting married, having kids, buying houses. I feel like there must be something wrong with me because I’m still not ready for that yet. Who said just because my parents moved me to the Midwest means that I have to settle in the Midwest? Maybe no one will hire me in another state because it’s easier to hire a local (which has happened to me…after 5 phone interviews…with the same company). Should I have let that stop me from pursuing my dream job and a life outside of the bubble I live in? I know I need to be realistic about what can and can’t happen for me, but when did it become okay to stop dreaming?

Basically I have decided that it is ridiculous for me to think I’m too old to keep my dream alive. So what if I never get that dream job…it’s a lot easier to stomach if I tried my hardest to do it. I don’t want to be ten years down the road wondering “what if?” I’m tired of just assuming things will never change for me. I’m ready to work. I’m ready to strive. I’m ready to live.



Watch out world. I’m back.

WPPI 2011

I think the best way to remember your blessings in those moments when life seems impossible is to write them down. Thank god I have a blog :)

Just in case you aren’t my friend on Facebook and didn’t see the billion updates I posted, I had the opportunity to go to the Wedding & Portrait Photographers International (from now on referred to as WPPI) conference in Las Vegas this past week. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was getting myself into, but the chance to even attend was amazing enough. These are the kinds of experiences that shape who we are and who we will be. If my week was any indication of these things, I am one lucky girl. 

I intern for a company called Songfreedom. In the photography and videography world, it is integral to be able to publish your work online. Your website is your key to advertise your work to the world. An important part of any slideshow or video is the music behind it. It can help tell the story just as much as the photos/videos do. The awesome thing about Songfreedom is that they have worked with the major record labels to make popular music available for use in these productions. I have always been ethical with the way I get music: ever since Napster was shut down when I was about 12, I realized the importance of artists getting paid for the work they put out. I’ve been an avid iTunes user ever since. I have opportunities to download music for free, but you’ll never see me taking part in that. I’d never want anything I produced to be stolen, so I can’t do that to any person who makes art (whatever that art may be). I fully believe that anyone putting a song to their creations should be in the same mindset. Give credit where credit is due. It has seemed impossible before, with only royalty free music being available, and sites like Facebook and YouTube pulling videos down left and right for copyright infringement, to publish work with music legally. 

          I am lucky to be working for a company that I believe in morally and ethically. I have truly felt that through my time at Songfreedom, their concern is the photographers and videographers. I talk up Valerie Martinez as much as I can. She not only works for Songfreedom, but she free-lances videography and photography as well. So, instead of working in a company that just adds whatever songs they can find, she researches. She sits and listens to the music and can actually see what sort of productions she could use out of it. Matt Thompson, President of Songfreedom, has worked for years to gain a relationship with the labels to make these popular, mainstream hits available for use, as well as indie artists and other music. They both care about what they do, and I am soaking every moment of it up. They have allowed me to take part in this amazing ride, and they have taught me so much that my brain could explode.

I can never thank Matt enough for allowing me to be a part of WPPI. He’s let me have some real-life work experience, which has given me a whole new perspective on what I want to do with my life. If I could spend my days working with the people I met over the course of this week, I would do it for free. Between working social media in ways that no one thought it could be worked, networking, and most important of all meeting the most amazing, creative, friendly geniuses in the photography business. I’m still in awe of the people I met and the work I saw. What a great community. When I told people I was going to Vegas, they told me how much fun I was going to have. I told them "I'm going for work and I'll be at a booth most of the time, I won't have any time for fun." Joke's on me, considering the most fulfilling parts of the trip were at the booth meeting everyone. I could have used another day at that booth. I loved every minute of it.

I’ve really been able to grasp the public relations and social media communities throughout this week and with my internship. Being able to shake hands and meet face-to-face as well as Tweet back and forth has just been eye opening to the way that social media is opening up businesses to a whole new world. Seeing something going viral first-hand, seeing people mention the company’s Twitter right after we met them, and being able to see what was going on at the conference with just a click of a hash tag has been overwhelming. I can sit in school for the next two months (May 7^th Commencement can’t come soon enough!) will never open my eyes and give me the experience the way WPPI has. I have to afford this experience to the amazing people we met along the way (Shout out to the Revolution Imaging and Design crew and 2Duce2Video J )

Sometimes I get so scatterbrained when I’m blogging, but what I am trying to say is THANK YOU. Thank you to the Songfreedom crew for allowing me to be a part of what you do, thank you to WPPI for the amazing experience, and thank you photographers for being the friendliest and most talented people out there. I have never been so excited for what my future holds. I owe the restoration of faith in my life and my career to all of you.

I am ready to get to work. May 7^th can’t come soon enough J

Here's a glimpse of WPPI 2011...

WPPI 2011 Convention and Trade Show Video Teaser from GEBBS on Vimeo.

A Dark Day, Thanks Sarah Palin

I hope as you are reading this, you realize the enormity of what I am about to say, and how hard it is for me to say it.

On this day, January 12, 2011, I agree with Sarah Palin.

I promise you that you just read that right. I’m feeling the pain as well. But I said it, published it, and now it is a fact for the world to see.

Let me start off by saying, as if those who know me don’t already know, I find Sarah Palin an the rest of her family useless, homophobic, mindless, (I can’t think of a nicer word for stupid, so think of that and insert it here), degenerate fame-whores who care nothing about politics only getting themselves in the media as much as possible. The issue of Sarah Palin to me is neither Democratic nor Republican; she doesn’t get on my nerves because of her political beliefs but because of how little she knows of her own beliefs or our country.

That said, I have to get to the part where I agree with something she’s said. I may need counseling after this.

This past Saturday, our nation added another tragic event to its history with the shooting in Arizona that left six dead and others wounded, including the supposed target Rep. Gabrielle Giffords. There are no words to describe how I feel anytime something this tragic happens. I’ve been trying to blog about it since Saturday, but I had a hard time putting the words together. I don’t know what to say in these moments because these are moments I never prepared to see. But, sadly, they happen, and it feels like it only takes mere hours before the speculation, blame, and conspiracy theories take heed.  

I can dismiss most of them because we will never really know the full story until the man who committed this heinous act of violence tells us why he did it. Trying to speculate just leads us to a whole lot of nowhere. But, the theory blaming Sarah Palin is what really caught my eye. In March of 2010, Palin showing her extreme intelligence and political know-how, posted a map on her Facebook page of vulnerable House Democrats. The map showed crosshairs over the contested Democratic districts, one of which was the target Rep. Gifford. Accompanying the map was a post by Palin, using gun rhetoric along with the map of targets in order to “take back Washington.”

Gifford responded, "The thing is, the way that she has it depicted has the crosshairs of a gun sight over our district. When people do that, they've got to realize there's consequences to that action." (CNN)

On Saturday, she was targeted, and she was shot.

I get that it is easy to place the blame on Palin given the circumstances. Posting the map last year was probably the most politically irresponsible thin she has ever done, and further proof that she does not have what it takes to be the leader of our country or keep us safe. She should have known better. When die-hard republicans are even echoing that sentiment, it’s a big deal. The map should have never been published. Now, there is a focus on violent rhetoric in our news programs (Bill O’Reilly anyone?) and I couldn’t be happier. We need to get away from the name calling and the bull and get back to what I watch the news for: news.

But to blame Palin for this tragedy? Unless she had the gun in her hand and pulled the trigger, she is not to blame. She released a statement today via her Facebook page and this excerpt rings true:

“President Reagan said, “We must reject the idea that every time a law’s broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.” Acts of monstrous criminality stand on their own. They begin and end with the criminals who commit them, not collectively with all the citizens of a state, not with those who listen to talk radio, not with maps of swing districts used by both sides of the aisle, not with law-abiding citizens who respectfully exercise their First Amendment rights at campaign rallies, not with those who proudly voted in the last election.” (CNN)

I can’t disagree with this at all. Unless the gunman says that he was pushed to try and assassinate Gifford because of Sarah Palin and this specific map, it seems like the media is again reaching for someone to blame other than the person who actually committed the crime. If it turns out that he was influenced by Palin, she deserves all of the heat that will come to her and should have the death of those six people, including a nine year old girl, forever on her conscience. But for those who have actually watched the shooter’s YouTube videos of his political rants, he was in no way shape or form a Tea Party enthusiast. He had his political thoughts, and he felt a little more strongly about them apparently than most people do.

Regardless, that man pulled the trigger (I am purposely not writing his name because I don’t care to see it). Palin did not. Nor did she tell him to. The map was in terrible taste, but she did not tell anyone to kill anyone. And while I blame her for being an idiot, I don’t blame her for the dead and the wounded from Arizona, and I won’t until the killer says that he did it because Palin told him to. If that is ever the case, I hope that she as well as all politicians realize the enormity of the words that come out of their mouths and work to change the way politics works.  

It is about time that news media gets back to the facts and steps away from the mud-slinging and the insane theories. Let the justice system do the investigation, and quit dragging both popular and unpopular public figures through the mud while you're figuring it out. 

It pains me to say this, but leave Sarah Palin alone.

Happy New Year

One of these days, I’ll stop using being busy as an excuse to neglect my poor little blog.

I can’t believe it is 2011 already. I can’t believe I’m 24. I can’t believe I’m nearing the end of my college career. When did this all happen?

While I can’t say it feels like yesterday that I was graduating high school since that was (shudder) six years ago, I still don’t feel as adult as I should. I wonder when that will start kicking in. I’ve always worked between 2 and 3 jobs since high school, so it’s not a work ethic thing per say. I’ve been growing increasingly anxious with the thought that in five months I will be graduating college, and I’m out of excuses.

It’s time to find a big girl job, it’s time to find a more permanent place of residence, it’s time to start thinking about salaries and 401(k)’s and kids and weddings and…bah I am freaking out just thinking about it. I’ve seen my friends get married, have babies, have their full time jobs in their field, and when I try to place myself in their shoes I can’t even imagine it.

I have seriously considered applying for grad school just to put this off a few more years. But, let’s be honest; I’m not getting any younger.

Did I really just say that? Can you go through a midlife crisis when you’re only 24?

The thing I try to constantly remind myself is that while I’m feeling so young and small and terrified of the real world, I’m also getting a lot accomplished. I will be the first person in my family with a Bachelor’s Degree (which only means something if, by the grace of God, I find a job after graduation). I’ve had two amazing internships that are really honing my skills so I have something to offer the companies I apply to. I have a good group of people around me who help me when I’m down, support me unconditionally, and above all make me smile. With my brother back in the state, my family has been closer, happier, and more fun. There are a lot of good things happening around me, and I need to learn not to be so terrified.

Then I realize my classes start Tuesday, and I have to start thinking about my final portfolio. I think about how fast the Fall semester flew by, then again how fast my whole SIUE experience has seemed to fly by. And I realize that before I know it I’m going to be in the Student Activity Gym waiting to walk in to my Commencement ceremony. Even though every one I’ve attended has felt long and boring, when it’s mine, it’ll fly by. Then I’m out of my student worker job, out of classes, and yet again, out of excuses.

I guess I just need to enjoy this while it lasts…

Shame on them? Or shame on YOU?

Glee is by far my favorite show on television. Anyone who is my Facebook friends knows this. I download all of the songs after each episode. I’m a musical freak, so being able to watch a musical once a week. But let’s just get that out of the way, I may be a little obsessed.

Glee has seen its share of controversy this season, especially with a certain magazine spread, but the newest one I read about this season really caught my attention.

The scene in question stars Gwyneth Paltrow as a substitute in Spanish, asking the students to repeat, “Lindsay Lohan is totally crazy, right?” in Spanish. Then, she asks the class in Spanish, “How many times has Lindsay Lohan been to rehab?”

“Five times. Five”

When the character Kurt knocks on the door to speak to her, she asks the class to “Please get into groups and discuss how many times Lindsay Lohan has been in rehab.”

(see the clip of the scene on TMZ here)

Apparently, momma Lohan didn’t like the joke too much. Apparently, Dina Lohan was quoted as saying “Shame on them,” and that the family feels it was “tasteless.”

I feel like in any other situation, this may be tasteless. But in Lindsay Lohan’s? I can’t say I feel too bad for her. She’s been to rehab 5 TIMES and she’s only 24. 5 times and she’s only been able to legally drink for 3 years. 5 times in rehab, one stint in jail, and some high profile run ins with the law (including a car chase) and she wonders why she is a tabloid darling.

I considered before writing a piece about celebrity right to privacy. There’s a fine line; in one sense they should have the same basic privacy rights that we all enjoy as Americans. Yet, they have put themselves in the public eye. They are FAMOUS. How much privacy should they expect?

And let’s be honest, if Lindsay Lohan wanted privacy, she wouldn’t do the things she does, especially in the public eye. You’re an actress; if you’re going to go out and get wasted and snort cocaine, hire a driver. You would have saved yourself a lot of trouble.

I think that the hysterical part about this whole situation is her parents. Dina is on the Today Show every other day, and Michael Lohan just talks to anyone with a camera that entertains him. Glee is supposed to worry about being “tasteless” yet both of her parents are using her problems to make themselves famous and keep themselves in the public eye. Remember when Britney Spears went nuts? At her worst, her father stepped in, got a conservatorship, and look who she is today. I’d say the same thing should happen for Lindsay, but neither of her parents are responsible nor selfless enough to truly take care of their daughter instead of themselves.

The reason the Lindsay jokes on Glee aren’t tasteless is because Lindsay Lohan is a joke. Her life is a circus, and it’s all thanks to herself and her family. She’s in the tabloids because she put herself there. I think a normal person in her circumstance would see the fact that she’s been an absolute mess, and truly worked on her sobriety and fixed her life. Instead, she feels she’s above the law and above any sort of rule or regulation, and she can do whatever she wants. It was about time that a judge put her in her place and sent her to jail, even if she got out early.

If she didn’t want to be in the news for being such a hot mess, she wouldn’t be such a hot mess. Over, and over, and over again.

And Dina and the rest of her family expect us to be sorry for her because she’s become a pop culture joke?

Instead of yelling at everyone else, try looking at the interior and see what you’ve done to your child and how you’ve enabled her in order to get yourself ahead.

When Lindsay Lohan decides to finally ACTUALLY get her life together, I say enough is enough with the jokes. But, we’ve put up with her reckless shenanigans taking over our news for years, without any sort of remorse or embarrassment. Being in the tabloids for her is her career, and she knows exactly what she’s doing. Until she stops treating the world as a joke, commenting on her rehab visits is an okay joke.

Lighten up, Lohans. It’s hard to feel sorry for you guys when you use the media to exploit yourselves. I’m sure Dina was thrilled with Glee so it gave her a chance to put herself back in the news.

My tip? Go away. Truly help your daughter get better WITHOUT putting yourself in the media. Help her before she kills herself. 

What do you guys think? Was the Glee joke okay, or tasteless?

Bullies Come In All Ages

**EDIT - After re-reading this, I'm afraid people might think that I'm talking about someone or someones (yes I made that a word) specific. This is the disclaimer letting everyone know that this post is NOT about anyone specific. Just a general train of thought after reading some stories in the news. So don't get on my case about it. Thanks :) 

I think a lot about bullying lately. With all of the stories in the news about teens committing suicide over their constant bullying (for whatever reasons). The statistics are staggering, and I thank God that I'm not in high school anymore and I don't have to deal with it.

Then when I sit back and really think about it, sometimes people are worse out of high school than they were in it.

And some people? They never grow up.

It's really important to learn from your mistakes and be a better person as a result.  No one is perfect, by any means. You'd think though that people would see their track records and move on from them as better people. You'd think.

I've learned that there are people out there who are relentless. Months or years after someone leaves high school or certain situations, there are still those people out there who tend to never forget it. They like to talk smack, all the time. But of course, never to the target's face. Takes too much courage to do something like that, and who needs courage when you can get together like a bunch of mindless chimps and laugh at someone else? The funniest to me is when people resort to the Internet to make their jabs at people. It's a sad thing to hide behind a computer screen to make comments and try to torment other people. Do you think that makes you a real man? All it makes you is a coward. And you will always be a coward.

I'm really supportive of the It Gets Better Project for gay youth. Millions of people making videos to let the world know that even though bullying in high school seems to have reached a whole new level of torment, life gets so much better out of high school. As most people grow up, they grow out of this obnoxious childish phase and learn how to be functional adult human beings. The thing is though, while it gets better, I can't say it ever gets easier. You'll still face challenges in your life. You'll still face those people who after months still think it's cute to write mean things about you on their social networking sites, even at 23 or 24 years of age. If you have a problem, sometimes people can move past it, sometimes people can't. Sometimes they just stop talking about the situation entirely and let it go, and sometimes people just need something to joke about because they have nothing else better to do, and you become the target.

The trick is how you deal with it.

Jabs always hurt, no matter how old you are. But when you realize who you really are, without the influence of others but including your own mistakes and pitfalls, that's when you'll shine. You don't need anyone to validate you, and their words just fall on deaf ears. You go to college, ignore the drama, make lifelong friends who have your back, get your degree, and make something of yourself.

Leave the haters back in high school where they belong.

Their words just aren't worth it. It may sting at first, but you'll realize how much better you are when you rise above it. Let them make their jokes, say their hurtful and usually untrue remarks about you. Those who entertain it weren't meant to be in your life in the first place. Those who realize how immature and childish it is are worth sticking around.

Intelligence and self worth are the key. Those who are attempting to make you feel bad lack both of those things.

I can honestly say that the older you get, the better you get at dealing with the hard times, and the harder you work, the more pay off there will be at the end.

Bullies aren't the end of the world. They aren't even in your world. Kick them out of it, and surround yourself with positive people who love and care about you.

Those are the people that are worth your time.

"Firework" Katy Perry

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,
drifting through the wind
wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
like a house of cards,
one blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep?
6 feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
You're gonna leave 'em falling awe-awe-awe

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"


Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through-ough-ough

'Cause baby you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"
You're gonna leave 'em falling awe-awe-awe

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

How Can I Hate Hate?

I feel really uncomfortable today.

I started my morning watching a NOH8 campaign video posted on someone’s Facebook:



I then saw that the Westboro Baptist Church plans to picket the funeral of one of the soldiers from my hometown who died in Afghanistan.

For those who don’t know, the Westboro Baptist Church is based in Kansas, and according to their website they, “engages in daily peaceful sidewalk demonstrations opposing the homosexual lifestyle of soul-damning, nation-destroying filth. We display large, colorful signs containing Bible words and sentiments, including: GOD HATES FAGS, FAGS HATE GOD, AIDS CURES FAGS, THANK GOD FOR AIDS, FAGS BURN IN HELL, GOD IS NOT MOCKED, FAGS ARE NATURE FREAKS, GOD GAVE FAGS UP, NO SPECIAL LAWS FOR FAGS, FAGS DOOM NATIONS, THANK GOD FOR DEAD SOLDIERS, FAG TROOPS, GOD BLEW UP THE TROOPS, GOD HATES AMERICA, AMERICA IS DOOMED, THE WORLD IS DOOMED, etc” Yeah, that’s really what they say.

And my initial reaction? I HATE these people. I hate people that bully homosexuals until they feel like the only option they have is to end their lives so they don’t have to deal with the pain anymore. I hate these supposed “Christians” who hide behind vulgar hate speech to spread the word of God. I want all of these people to burn in hell for the hatred they spread and the lives they negatively effect just for their own kicks.

And then I had to stop myself. See that word? Hate? If I hate them, how does that make me any better than them?

And if I hate them, they’ve garnered the reaction out of me they were looking for. And they win.

It’s such a confused and complicated conflict to be in. How can I feel like this isn’t right and I want the world to know it, without encouraging their hatred with my own hatred back?

I asked my community (through my Facebook) to show up on the day of the funeral and blockade the family from the WBC. I asked them to do what a small town in Missouri did (here’s the story on that) and show up early to take all of the parking spaces. Use bodies to make sure the WBC gets nowhere near the funeral. But most importantly, do so PEACEFULLY. Do not engage them, do not scream at them, and do not enforce physical violence upon them. That makes you no better than they are. Instead, show them how true Americans, and how true people of God, act.

I am so troubled by the fact that, coming upon my 24th birthday, these kinds of issues exist in my world. I want to see a truly United States of America before I die, although I’m sure that will never happen. It’s so conflicting to feel like there’s nothing I can do to make homosexual teenagers (and even adults) feel like there’s NOTHING wrong with them and no matter how bad it gets, it always gets better. I feel like there’s nothing I can do to show soldiers that they don’t die in vain, and that even though there’s this small, miniscule population of hate-mongers in our country, they don’t speak for the whole.

Sometimes I wish people would just open their eyes. Accept people for who they are. And all live peacefully, whether we 100% agree with what our neighbors are doing or not.

I feel like I’ll never see that day. And that leaves me in tears.


To learn more about the "It Gets Better" Project, please visit their website. To help your veterans, please refer to my previous blog posting for a list of resources.